Destinies Are Troublesome Things
by AnalystProductions
Summary: In which Gwen resorts to Facebook stalking, Merlin plays matchmaker, and a confident stranger called Arthur, 'future boyfriend' according to his t-shirt, serenades Merlin glee style. Since when did this kind of thing actually happen in real life? AU M/A


**Summary:** In which Gwen resorts to Facebook stalking, Merlin plays matchmaker, and a confident stranger called Arthur, 'future boyfriend' according to his t-shirt, serenades Merlin glee style. Since when did this kind of thing actually happen in real life? **AU M/A **

This is complete crack and whacky. I'm not going to pretend it's not.

Basically, I'm not a Justin Bieber fan (sorry!), but his new song 'Boyfriend' has for some reason been stuck in my head FOR DAYS.

And then I remembered this video ( **http: / /www .youtube .com/watch? v=8KGeqLYgBbs** ) and it kind of inspired the whole thing because wouldn't watching Arthur dance around a shopping centre make anyone's day?

Hope you enjoy.

Don't take it too seriously ;) this is a bit of fun. It's not a detailed piece, it's more of a visual, fun piece, more of a song-fic. I've got too many serious fics on the go at the moment!

Please listen to "Boyfriend" Justin Beiber in the second scene ( **http: / /www .youtube .com/watch?v =RoFXbt2tfbU** ) !

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**..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸ D e s t i n i e s a r e t r o u b l e s o me t h i n g s ..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.**

** ~ Analystproductions 2012 ~ **

It had started off as a relatively normal day at the shopping centre for twenty-two year old Merlin Emrys. Despite having to squeeze through large gatherings of people and taking twice as long to get through checkouts _(damn sales!)_, he and Gwen were in fact having a blast. They'd indulged in a fancy lunch downtown, and fully embraced the window-shopping aspect of the trip to the max.

"What about him? He's cute." Gwen whispered cheekily in Merlin's ear from behind as they stood on the escalators.

Turning his head to face the cinnamon-skinned beauty, the raven-haired man twisted his lips in an attempt to conceal his grin. It had been _years _since he had first proclaimed his sexuality, and yet she still continued to act as his personal boyfriend-finder. He casually glanced over to the guy she gestured to with skilled subtly, and he raised his eyebrows back to her in modest approval. The pair stepped off the escalators onto a more peaceful floor. Merlin nudged her playfully, noticing a familiar face up ahead outside HMV.

"What about _him,_ he's cute Gwen…" he teased, pointing rather _indiscreetly _at said candidate.

Eyes widening and drastically revivifying in colour, Gwen yanked her friend's hand back to his side, face painted a deep scarlet.

"Don't. You. _Dare. _I've changed my mind-"

"-Hey! Hey _Lancelot-" _Merlin raised his voice, waving a hand in the air dramatically.

His best friend's complexion couldn't have resembled a tomato any more than it did now. It wasn't new news to Merlin that Gwenevere had a crush bigger than life itself on Lancelot Du-Lac. He'd figured it out before _she _had. However, agonising months of pining had passed and it was just getting _ridiculous. _He could almost hear freaking_ violins _play solemnly every time the pair said goodbye.

"-_Merlin!" _it was too late, the tanned _deity, _in his flattering black leather jacket, had heard and was already walking towards them with a relaxed gait.

Bowing her head shyly, the young woman by Merlin's side sighed theatrically.

"_I hate you, I hate you, I hate you-" _Gwen hissed furiously, punching him in the back with weak force.

Grinning, Merlin chuckled at her.

"-Nah you don't. You're happy we finally found him. He likes you too, look at his eyes!" he glanced over to the handsome man.

"-_I am not looking at his eyes M." _she protested stubbornly.

"Good idea." he agreed simply, pausing for a moment. Gwen was foolish enough to believe he'd dropped the subject. That was until she heard a laugh escape his lips.

"You'd probably get lost in them." Crinkling his eyes in amusement, Merlin turned to her. "How did you describe them again? _Deep enough to swim in-"_

"I'm not liiiii (averting her eyes from the sniggering male beside him, she felt her heart race) laaancelot!" Gwen's facial expression morphed rapidly from embarrassment to flagrant glee.

Awkwardly, the pair rushed into an abrupt hug, flinging greeting at each other. Merlin raised a hand to his mouth in delight, feeling more and more like a _perfect _matchmaker who was able to bring two people together with a flick of his magic wand. Releasing Gwen, Lancelot shot her an obliviously dazzling smile.

"You look _great._" He exclaimed, resulting in Gwen tucking her hair behind her ears nervously.

"She spent ages getting ready cause she knew you'd be here." Merlin interjected audaciously, causing the three of them to splutter into laughter: Gwen's clearly dripping with a tone that suggested 'I'm going to _kill _you', Lancelot's sounded slightly hopeful, eyes on her; Merlin's bright and full of mirth, admiring the couple before him.

As the laughter died down, Gwen glanced at her friend who shrugged innocently. It had been _half true _after all. Actually…it had all been _true:_

_"Hey Merlin, let's go to town." She'd said down the phone quickly._

_"…Gwen. What have I told you about Facebook stalking?" he had replied sternly, concern in his tone._

_"That it's fun and totally helpful in these kind of situations." Pause. "Besides, who checks-in at a shopping centre alone without pretending not to expect someone they know to miraculously appear?"_

_"…that's my girl. Be there in five."_

Glancing at his watch with a frown, the gorgeous tanned male sighed a little.

"Guys, I'm sorry. I have to go. But it was lovely to see you…" Locked in a short, intense stare with the brown-eyed woman, he smiled lightly. The slight shuffle from beside her startled him a little.

"…both." he quickly added in an unusually flustered manner, sparing a minute glance at Merlin before drawing his eyes back to Gwen.

Oh _God, _Merlin groaned. Here came the violins, he could hear them wailing in despair right now. And yet the pair were _indulging _in them! Longing glances exchanged in seconds that passed too slowly, slightly open lips waiting to be kissed, sparks exploding fiercely around them. Rolling his eyes, the raven-haired man broke the silence.

"Gwen's having a gathering tomorrow night…" he spat out randomly.

Gwen blinked at her friend, about to object to this lie. Yet when she realised Lancelot's apparent interest, she smiled timidly.

"You should come." She said hopefully, trying desperately hard to conceal her eager tone.

Pulling out his phone, Lancelot shot her another Hollywood smile. One minute late, the handsome man departed from their presence. Gwen was unable to contain her beaming smile, clutching Merlin's arm ecstatically.

"He asked for my number! He could have just texted you later." She squealed.

Wrapping an arm around her, a pleased smile framing his lips, Merlin steered them towards the rather expensive clothes shop in front of them.

"Now, your personal stylist is going to help you find a killer outfit."

…_That's _when Merlin realised that his day was about to diverge away from normal, to the point where normal would become a paradoxical world, a far distant land which was forever unreachable.

**. . . . . . . . . . . **

Abruptly, a siren blared from the speakers placed around the shopping centre. The mass of people focused on shopping came to a halt, exchanging confused glances. It took Merlin a few seconds to establish that this weird _whistling _sound was supposed to be music, accompanied by a drum machine loop. Then, came the _voice. _

_If I was your boyfriend I'd never let you go._

_I could take you places you never been before._

Searching for the source of the voice, Merlin noted a figure standing on the benches further ahead: a _very attractive_, blonde man dressed in jeans and a tight t-shirt. A small crowd had formed around him. Merlin tugged Gwen's arm, making a move to get away from all this hype. He wasn't really into this kind of music anyway…But she pulled him back curiously, intrigued.

_Baby take a chance or you'll never ever know _

_I got money in my hands that I'd really like to blow_

The girls assembling at the front shrieked as the blonde man reached into his pocket and showered them with endless notes- which were probably real when Merlin realised most of this guy's clothes were designer. It's at this moment Merlin suddenly discovered this incredibly _hot _guy was singing…to him. No _impossible._ He was Merlin; big-eared, lanky Merlin. Those striking blue eyes were locked on him. Staggering backwards nervously, not wanting to be dragged into the crowd's attention, Merlin sighed. It was too late; _already _people were looking at him.

_Swag swag swag, on you_

He pointed to Merlin, causing the pale man to blush a little.

_Chillin' by the fire while we are eating fondue _

_I don't know about me but I know about you _

"Who _is this guy_?" Merlin hissed to Gwen in bewilderment, watching the blonde jump dramatically off the bench and part the crowd with an invisible force.

"I don't know, but if I were you I wouldn't be complaining. "

_So say hello to falsetto in three two _(the blonde raised is hand, gesturing the numbers as he danced.)

_Swag. _

He popped his collar in a smug fashion, smirking- an instant turn off. This guy clearly thought he was the bees-knees.

Merlin scoffed. _SWAG? _More like SWOG_._ Eyes glimmering, Gwen clasped her hands together, watching the mysterious backing dancers appear out of what seemed liked nowhere, miraculously jumping into action.

"It's like GLEE, on tour!"

_I'd like to be everything you want _

Spinning in time to the beat, the blonde landed gracefully, now face to face with Merlin.

_Hey boy, let me talk to you _

"Well why don't you just _talk?" _Merlin asked in confusion, fazed when he noted people had started crowding around _him._

_If I was your boyfriend, never let you go_

Rolling his eyes, Merlin turned on his heel, trying to escape this surreal live-action music video. He dragged Gwen with him. But the blonde was resilient, skipping alongside them with urgency.

_Keep you on my arm boy; you'd never be alone _

Holding the door open, the blonde – Arthur- _future boyfriend_ according to the t-shirt, gestured for Merlin to step through before following with his odd array of colour co-ordinated dancers.

_I can be a gentleman, anything you want _

_If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go, _

Jumping onto escalator, Merlin sighed in relief. Then he spotted them on the escalator opposite, walking down the up escalator rather effortlessly.

_I'd never let you go _

Laughing, Gwen grinned at her friend's morbid expression. Dashing into the nearest store, a toy shop, Merlin found himself attempting to hide behind one of the isles. For a few seconds as the music paused for a beat, he thought he was safe. Then the blonde appeared seemingly out of nowhere, right in his face.

_Tell me what you like yeah, tell me what you don't- _

"-you!" Merlin shouted in annoyance, storming through the shop petulantly.

_I could be your Buzz Lightyear _(he reached for the toy in its iconic rocketship, the backing dancers plunger a fist forward in a flying motion before breaking into a flawless routine)_ fly across the globe_

"-no!" the raven-haired man groaned.

_I don't never wanna fight yeah, you already know _

Picking a ridiculous pair of kids sunglasses from one of the stand, Arthur lowered them on his nose and raised is eyebrows in appreciation at Merlin almost comically.

_I am 'ma a make you shine bright like you're laying in the snow _

_Burr _ (slipping into the shop next door, Merlin found himself crashing into Arthur clumsily. The blonde hauled one of the fur coats over the his shoulders grinning.)

Merlin thrust the coat off and slipped underneath the customer service barrier, quickly waltzing out of the shop. He frantically searched for Gwen, who he spotted giggling in the foreground, no doubt boasting it was her friend being serenaded embarrassingly.

_Boyfriend, boyfriend, you could be my boyfriend_

_You could be my boyfriend until the_ (Arthur held a hand to his lips amicably, making Merlin's lips twitch a little- just a _little_.) _— world ends_

_Make you dance do a spin and a twirl _

Grabbing Merlin by the arm, who reluctantly complied with light mutters of protest, the blonde spun him around lightly, before dancing forwards with his 'possy.'

_Voice goin' crazy on this hook like a whirl wind _

He turned to face Merlin.

_'Swaggie' _ he said in a mock sexy voice, ploughing a hand through his tousled hair with a playful grin. Merlin felt his tightened lips resolve a little into a strained smile.

_I'd like to be everything you want _

Waving a hand in front of Merlin's face, Arthur smiled.

_Hey boy, let me talk to you _

"Shall we grab a coffee Gwen?" Merlin shouted out over the blaring music, attempting to nonchalantly brush off this strange display of something that was directed towards him.

Laughing, the woman rushed towards him as they made their way through the doors outside. The strange dancing musical parade followed them without hesitation into the light drizzle.

_If I was your boyfriend, never let you go _

_Keep you on my arm boy, you'd never be alone _

_I can be a gentleman,_ Arthur pulled out and umbrella almost on cue as the rain fell down harder, holding it over Merlin's head.

_Anything you want_

Merlin pretended he didn't find the way the rain pelted this man's face and flattened his hair, defining his muscles under that t-shirt too was _not at all hot. _

_If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go, I'd never let you go_

Walking into the quiet, quaint coffee shop, oh _dear lord this was embarrassing, _Merlin noticed none other than Gaius at the counter, eyebrow raised even higher than usual.

"Don't ask." He pleaded, ignoring the dark-haired girl behind who was snorting.

_So give me a chance,_

From his peripheral vision, Merlin _refused _to acknowledge this absurdity, he saw the ought-to-be glee star leant against the counter beside him, running a hand through his damp hair. No doubt using exaggerated gestures with his hands to express this _desperation _in the slower part of the song.

_'cause you're all I need boy _

Merlin turned to him in irritation.

_Spend a week with your boy I'll be calling you my boyfriend_ Arthur winked cheekily, oozing confidence as he caught Merlin's eyes.

Gaius' blinked slowly; Gwen sighed dreamily. Merlin just felt his face go beetroot as the blonde man and his dancers backed away and began an elaborate routine on the wooden tables.

_If I was your man, I'd never leave you boy _(the dancers behind him shook their finger in time to the beat.)

_I just want to love and treat you right _

Breaking into falsetto, the blonde leapt off the table, skidding rather elegantly back towards Merlin. His hands landed on each side of the man, pressing him against the counter. Throwing his eyes _anywhere _but in front of him, Merlin took a sip of his coffee nonchalantly.

_If I was your boyfriend, never let you go _

_Keep you on my arm boy you'd never be alone _

Handing the coffee to Arthur, he dived under the arms, exiting the coffee shop in a brisk walk. Oh _shoot, _he really wished he hadn't left that umbrella he'd just been given with Gwen.

_I can be a gentleman, anything you want _

_If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go, never let you go _

It was then he saw his nearest escape route draw nearer. The bus. Running frantically, Merlin pulled out his wallet, subconsciously humming to the '_na-na-na'_s echoing behind him.

_Yeah boy_

Diving onto the bus, he watched the blonde and his dancers looming closer.

"Drive! _DRIVE!"_ He yelled frenziedly to the bus driver, all eyes on him.

_If I was your boyfriend_

Ignoring Merlin, the bus driver continued to let people on. Thankfully, the doors shut before Arthur could board. Sighing in relief, Merlin sat down in one of the window seats, pulling a smug face. He'd triumphed.

_If I was your boyfriend._

Arthur saluted casually as the bus began to drive away, meeting his eyes and pointing to his t-shirt. Behind him was Gwen, under the pink umbrella, arm outstretched in confusion. It was then Merlin realized his mistake.

He'd just jumped onto the wrong bloody bus.

Beside him, a girl with lose brown curls grinned. Merlin dramatically sighed and leant his head against the seat, knowing what was coming.

"So…was that your boyfriend?"

* * *

**…TO BE CONTINUED…**

Yes. Fear not. Arthur will continue his quest to serenade Merlin.

PS. In case you were wondering what Swog is: http: / /www. youtube .com/watch? v=b79FTeeEemk


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